My Life As A Jerk, (a re-run of the episode that started it all!!!)

Something To Gnaw On:  My Life as a Jerk

Hey everyone, I’m Nate Vainio, and this is Something to Gnaw On, a short podcast intended to give you something to mentally (and spiritually) chew on throughout your day… A Bible study in bite-size form… (and occasionally it may look more like my journal).

This Episode is entitled “My Life as a Jerk”.

My life as a jerk started kind of rough. My first suspension was for starting a food fight (on the last full day of school) in 7th grade. (I was suspended the last half day, and had to come in afterwards and clean lockers.)  I spent the first three days of 8th grade getting to know Mr. “C”, the Junior High Principal at McMurray Middle School. Apparently, being told by a teacher to “quiet down” trumps the etiquette of politely wrapping up a conversation with your friend across the room. “Nate, Go To The Office!” What  way to start day one!

On day two, the life lesson taught by parents of “FINISH WHAT YOU START” doesn’t apply when the same teacher asks/tells you that you need to stop drawing on your desk. It was incomplete, I had to finish it. It was going to be there until I came in at lunch to clean it, it seemed unethical to leave the job incomplete for 3 more classes.  Neither the teacher, nor Mr. “C”, agreed with me. 

The third day was the turning point.  Day three began with tense silence in the classroom, everyone looking down at their books. Mrs. “S” waited a few painful minutes before stepping to the front of the class. Mrs. “S” is an interesting person in my memory.  I remember her being the intersecting point of Goth and Hippy:   She had long straight black hair with a part down the middle that you could drive a matchbox car down, and dark sunken eyes… at the same time she was fond of the flannel shirts and basic jeans.  It was a weird balance of the two cultures.  

(Warning: the next few lines might be disturbing to those with sensitive stomach’s.) Anyhow,  She must have been dealing with fall allergies because prior to saying one word she sniffed real hard and cleared the back of her throat with the sound of an intentional snore, or snort, and swallowed the substance. This was in this moment when I first learned how powerful a question can be.

Sideline note: The timeframe was 1987-88. During this time one beer company had an ad campaign that addressed what most industry experts referred to as mutually exclusive characteristics beer; the fact that their ‘Lite’ beer was both “less filling” & “tasted great.” Their commercials would have opposite sides of the football stadium chanting back and forth, “LESS FILLING” & “TASTE’S GREAT” ad noseum.

It’s amazing to me how my brain can manipulate my mouth so quickly. No sooner had Mrs. “S” cleared her nasal passages and I ask the obvious question, “Taste’s Great?” (yeah, it had that vocal inflection at the end that made it a question.) I was half expecting her to reply “Less Filling”. With my classmates trying to hold back their laughter, her first words that day were, “Nate, Go To The Office.”

While this question landed me in the office, it was the last time I was in the principal’s office until my Senior year (a story for another time). But I learned something very important, “the power of the question.” For the rest of that year and into High School we collectively learned how to delay, derail, or destroy a class with more constructive questions, especially when we had substitutes.

The principle is this: He who asks the questions controls the conversation (or the class).

We learned to ask questions about the topic at hand and with every answer more questions would emerge. And the delay tactic would snowball. If we played our cards right we would avoid a test, quiz, homework, etc. And best of all, no office time because we feigned legitimate interested in the topic.  All the while, we had zero interest in the topic. A good and experienced teacher knew how to keep us on track, and they were the challenging ones!

Jesus was such a teacher, and Nicodemus was such a jerk as I. Read John 3, especially in the Message and tell me you don’t see it. Nicodemus puts on his best political/social butterfly persona and greets Jesus with a HUGE, ego stoking compliment. Jesus sidesteps the social ‘two-step’ and slaps him with some straight truth, “YOU MUST BE BORN AGAIN!”

It puts Nicodemus on his heels, and he defaults to ‘questions’ to regain control of the conversation, or to delay the impact. Over the next few verses Nicodemus kicks out about 4 questions and a little commentary. Honestly, it looks pretty innocent until you see Jesus’ response (It almost reminds me of the scene in Back To The Future with Michael J Fox where Biff is tapping George McFly on the head saying “Hello, Hello, Anybody Home? Think McFly Think”. I guess it’s sad but that’s the tone I see here, although I must beg forgiveness for equating Jesus with Biff): 

“Jesus said, “You’re a respected teacher of Israel and you don’t know these basics? Listen carefully. I’m speaking sober truth to you. I speak only of what I know by experience, I give witness only to what I have seen with my own eyes. There is nothing secondhand here, no hearsay. Yet instead of instead of accepting it, you procrastinate with questions. If I tell you things that are plain as the hand before your face and you don’t believe me, what use is there in telling you of the things you can’t see, the things of God? John 3:10-12 MSG 

This is not a seeker-sensitive, politically correct, or socially tolerant conversation. It is a blatant exposure of a man’s heart, and it is anything but comfortable. 

Have you ever had a conversation about Christ with someone and they just keep asking questions? For me it happened all the time at the University of Montana, and many times since. Questions about creation versus evolution, if God is good then why is there so much evil in the world, are the scriptures really trustworthy. 

Is it legit? Is it procrastination? A delay or defense mechanism? Or could it be more sinister? If you get sucked into one of these conversations, is it keeping you from sharing the good news with someone else? How would Jesus handle it? 

From this point forward Nicodemus doesn’t speak, but Jesus lays out the plan of salvation: ‘Not only do you need to be born again, here is how:’  “…In the same way that Moses lifted the serpent in the desert so people could have something to see and then believe, it is necessary for the Son of Man to be lifted up – and everyone who looks up to him, trusting and expectant, will gain a real life, eternal life. This is how much God loved the world: He gave his one and only son. And this is why: so that no one need be destroyed; by believing in him, anyone can have a whole and lasting life. God didn’t go to all the trouble of sending his Son merely to point an accusing finger, telling the world how bad it was. He came to help, to put the world right again. Anyone who trusts in him is acquitted; anyone who refuses to trust him has long since been under the sentence without even knowing it. And why? Because that person’s failure to believe in the one-of-a-kind Son of God when introduced to him. This is the crisis we’re in: God-light streamed into the world, but men and women everywhere ran for the darkness. They went for the darkness because they were not really interested in pleasing God. Everyone who makes a practice of doing evil, addicted to denial and illusion, hates God-light and won’t come near it, fearing a painful exposure. But anyone working and living in truth and reality welcomes God-light so the work can be seen for the God-work it is.” John 3:13-21 MSG (emphasis added)

To quote Sean Connery’s character in The Untouchables, “here endeth the lesson.” Jesus drops the mic. The bell rings and class is over. Jesus laid it out for Nicodemus, and moved on. Seriously! He moves right along and doesn’t seem to wait for a response. Verse 22 starts a completely different episode of Christs ministry.  There is no marathon altar call with George Beverly Shaw singing “Just As I Am”.   Gospel presented.  Job Done.  Goodby.

SO, WHATS THE POINT IN ALL THIS?

While others in the gospels, and throughout history, have responded to Christ much more quickly, it seems to be a little more of a process for some of the ‘intellectually elite’, or the Pharisee (this is a good place to give a plug for the parable of the sower in Matthew 13). Jesus knows the games people play. He knows how to cut through the façade. He doesn’t waste any time ‘warming up’ to Nicodemus. He is less concerned with Nicodemus’ feelings and more concerned with his eternal life. He paints a clear and concise picture of what it means to be born again. And He leaves Nicodemus to work through what he has just heard. No manipulation. Jesus is not on a hunting expedition, He’s farming. He planted a seed, let it grow, ……………………………….and about three years later we see Nicodemus’ life completely turned around (see John 7 & 19). 

So, where are you in this story? Do you ‘believe’, ‘trust’, ‘live expectantly’, and are you ‘working and living in truth and reality’? or Do you need to stop asking questions or using other delay tactics to procrastinate and put off the decision for Christ that you need to make? When “God-light” shines on your life do you fear the “painful exposure” of sin? Are you addicted to denial and illusion? These are tough questions, but they need to be asked and answered! 

ON A PERSONAL NOTE

It’s been several years since I first believed and put my faith in Christ, but I still see this ‘jerk’ in me from time to time. There are times that I really sense God speaking to me to do certain things. The delay tactics kick in. The ‘wisdom’ questions kick in. The ‘planning’ questions kick in. The ‘education’ questions kick in. Sure there is validity in the questions, but do they undercut walking in faith? Do they undercut my trust in God? Do they delay my obedience? This isn’t black or white. 

I think of it like I do guns, knives, fords, and chevy’s. They are not inherently bad (well, some are made better than others, but that’s not the point). In the hands of a responsible individual a gun, knife, a ford  or chevy  can protect and provide. In the hands of an irresponsible person the same can destroy the most innocent of lives. So it is with questions, they are neither good nor evil. A question can bring death & destruction, or life & protection. 

Ultimately, it’s a heart issue, and I cannot point out heart issues in other people, I can only look at myself and pray like David: “God, investigate my life; get all the facts firsthand. I am an open book to you; even from a distance, you know what I am thinking……….. you know everything I am going to say before I start the first sentence………Investigate my life, O God, find out everything about me; Cross-examine and test me, get a clear picture of what I am about; See for yourself whether I’ve done anything wrong- then guide me on the road to eternal life. Psalm 139:1-5 & 23-24 MSG (emphasis added).

What David is saying is “I have taken an oath to tell the truth, and I will submit to your questions…..bring out the true me and lets deal with it.” 

I am 48 and I am a recovering jerk, I was like Nicodemus, I confessed my sins and gave my life to Jesus Christ and I pray David’s prayer often……………………………………………. I dare you to pray this prayer and see what Jesus does in your life.

I’m Nate Vainio, and that is Something To Gnaw On.  Thanks for listening.  As always, if you were blessed by this episode, please hit the like button, and feel free to share with someone who would be encouraged by this as well.

Until next time, May God Richly Bless You!!!   Amen!!